Nudism, Sex and Me

Nudism, Sex and Me

Is nudity inherently sexual?

Can we be naked and not ashamed, just like Adam and Eve?

Is nudism just good clean fun -- or a poorly disguised front for lust and fornication?

The answers to all these questions really depend on who is being asked. When Beavis and Butt-head came to visit a nudist resort (in an episode called Naked Colony), their only goal was to "see naked people" -- for purely sexual reasons. Most real-life teenagers would probably concur. But if you ask an average nudist, the response would be quite the opposite. The nudist will respond (and, most likely, believe) that nudism is all about purity, relaxation and fun in the sun -- and definitely not sex. An opponent of nudism, however, will undoubtedly equate nudism with rampant licentiousness and prurient, voyeuristic desires. (Of course, unlike Beavis and Butt-head, the anti-nudist will consider these things immoral, ungodly and generally horrible).

In this article, I will try discussing nudism and sexuality from my own unique perspective. Being a fairly recent convert to nudism, as well as a 41-year-old man who thoroughly enjoys sex, masturbation, pornography, adult establishments and sex parties, I would like to share my thoughts and experiences with others.

Plus, it's more fun than just talking to myself.

*  *  *

If you think that America is a hopelessly puritanical, censorship-mad and sexually repressive society, you might be right.

Then again, it only proves you have never lived in the Soviet Union.

I have. I was born and raised there. When I left the USSR, I was 18.

Imagine being a hypersexual male teenager and having virtually no sexual outlets. No porn. No erotica, either. No adult movies or magazines (not even for actual adults). The most one could hope for was a rare second-or-two-long boobshot on a TV screen. And there was no TiVo or even a VCR to record these precious moments for later use. I had to actually wait for these boobs to appear on a TV in our living room (which, of course, had the only TV in the apartment). And pray that no one else will be in the living room during that time. And prepare myself (hand in pocket) for the big moment, so that the boobshot itself would coincide with the happy ending in my underpants. Ah, precious childhood memories...

However, summertime would always bring a new possibility. My brother and I were lucky enough to spend every summer vacation on the Baltic Sea coast in what was then Latvian Soviet Socialist Republic (now it's just the Republic of Latvia). And the sea coast meant seaside beaches. No, not nude ones. Just general beaches where women hid their private parts from our hungry eyes behind swimsuits. However, we quickly discovered that changing rooms generally had wall holes. And, while changing, it was actually possible to peep and observe a woman in the next room. Looking at all these forbidden breasts and vaginas was very thrilling and exciting... but also very dangerous, as it normally is for any Peeping Tom. But what choice did we have?

Well, that's when we first heard of nudists. While nudism didn't officially exist in good old USSR, we did hear some unofficial rumors. Apparently, some men and women (which was especially important) sunbathed naked... somewhere. Of course, there was no way to find better info or even verify the rumors themselves. There was no Internet. And no independent media, either.

We did try our best, though. Once, we took a train to some distant location, which supposedly had a secret nude beach... but found nothing and no one. Another time, we wrote an ad. No, we didn't publish it in a newspaper. We simply took a piece of paper and wrote on it. Not sure what the exact verbiage was, but I do remember the ad invited everyone to the first meeting of a newly founded nudist club. The open invitation did contain specific time and place for the meeting. We pinned the ad to some wooden billboard and left, full of hopes and dreams. However, on the meeting day... we didn't make it, having to do some chore instead (remember, we were teens -- and we definitely couldn't tell Dad that we kind of had other plans).

To this day, we don't know if anyone actually came to the meeting.

Anyway, that was my first nudist-related experience. Or, rather, attempted experience.

*  *  *

Things changed. In 1990, I left the Soviet Union and came to the United States. Now, I had access to adult magazines, Playboy Channel on TV and porn movies. Then, the Internet. Needless to say, I was in a masturbatory heaven.

As to nudism, it was pretty much a non-issue, since I had more than enough naked visual aids at it was. The only exception I can think of was an ad I once saw in The Riverfront Times. The ad featured some nudist club or resort named Bare Something. I actually did reply, but all I got in response was a letter that stated that no single male would be admitted without an accompanying female (and, for good measure, these strict words were bolded and underlined). Of course, I did not have such a female. And if I did, why would I even need to go there? I'd just enjoy her nude body in the privacy of my own bedroom. At least that's how I saw it back then.

Afterwards, I finally got myself a female. I even married her. However, the marriage turned out to be quite lousy and largely sexless. Thus, I continued practicing excessive masturbation.

But back to nudism. Once, I saw a nudist magazine. It was called N, or Nude and Natural. And I didn't find it in Bargain Books or some other adult book store. The N magazine was located in Borders. Not next to Playboy or Penthouse. Just in one of general magazine sections, surrounded by boring travel publications. Nude and Natural, however, wasn't boring at all. It featured many black and white photos (and a few color ones) of men and women playing sports, relaxing in the sun or just walking around -- in the nude.

I bought the magazine, took it home and... yes, I did exactly what you think I did. Afterwards, I bought more magazines and found some nudist websites online. Even though the pictures did not contain any sex, I still found them arousing and exciting. (The photos of nude women, that is. I simply ignored the male ones). In fact, the pictures looked much more natural that the staged ones in porn mags, which only added to my excitement -- and I was only too happy to find a new erotic niche for my self-satisfaction.

And then, after the orgasm, I would often actually read the articles. Some of them were quite interesting. They claimed nudism was totally asexual, natural and pure. "Yeah right." I would normally smile. "Asexual. Of course. If you say so..."

After all, who was I to argue? If all these kind and generous publishers didn't realize I was merely exploiting their supposedly asexual photos for my own sexual pleasure, why would I want to reveal my dirty secret?

Of course, sometimes I would also fantasize about actually going to a nude beach in person. After all, adding a "live" dimension to my viewing pleasure did sound quite exciting. However, I realized that my extremely self-conscious wife would never agree to something like that. And going by myself sounded quite unthinkable. Since nudity and sex were still inseparably intertwined in my dirty mind, such a trip sounded almost adulterous.

On the other hand, each time we had a new fight, and I felt that she might leave me, I would tell myself again and again:

"Nude beach. Think nude beach".

And a possible breakup didn't sound that bad anymore.

*  *  *

Meanwhile, more and more time passed by. In 2010, my brother and I finally decided to visit the Old Country. Well, technically, the Soviet Union didn't exist anymore. But we did go to several former Soviet republics -- namely, Russia, Ukraine and Latvia.

Since my wife didn't accompany us on our trip, I thought that our journey could also be a good opportunity to visit some nude beaches. No, not as nudists. Just as pervy onlookers who would finally, like Beavis and Butt-head, "see naked people". I shared my idea with my brother. He wholeheartedly approved.

As awesome as our trip turned out to be, our ignoble side goal proved to be quite difficult. In St. Petersburg, the weather turned out to be too cold. We did travel to the nude beach anyway, but found very few people there, and they all were fully dressed. In Moscow, it rained so hard that we didn't even bother going. In Kiev, Ukraine, the weather was borderline OK, and the sun did shine a bit -- but it was Monday, and the only naked people on the beach were... two men. So, technically, the "see naked people" goal was achieved, but only technically.

The last stop was Riga, Latvia. Or, rather, the nude beach in a small town of Vecaki, about half an hour away by train. This time, we finally succeeded. We walked to the regular beach, then turned to the right, then walked about a mile along the seacoast... and there we were.

We finally saw the nudists, who were sunbathing with no clothes on. And not just men. Women, too. We saw their tits, asses and pussies. It was neither a TV screen nor a computer monitor. It was live nudity. The ultimate naked visual aid.

"We did it. We saw naked people!" My brother exhaled triumphantly. I couldn't help but share his feelings. However...

However, our pleasure didn't last long. We felt something else, which was rather unpleasant. Many of the nudists were looking at us with almost open animosity. As if we were doing something wrong.

Suddenly, it hit me.

We were indeed being in the wrong. In fact, we were being indecent. No, not because we were looking at nude women. But because we ourselves were clothed.

It was a typical "when in Rome" moment. We all know it is decent to wear clothes but indecent to be naked on a regular beach (or on a city street). But here, on a nude beach, the situation was completely reverse! Here, it was decent to be nude -- and, ergo, indecent to be dressed.

Needless to say, we didn't like the feeling at all.

"Let's go." My brother sighed and turned around.

But I hesitated. I didn't want to go. I liked the beach, I liked the sea breeze, I liked seeing other people (well, women) naked. And, besides leaving, there was another option. If I didn't want to be indecent, I just had to... well, be decent.

I started unbuttoning my shirt.

"What the hell?" My brother couldn't believe his own eyes.

I took off my shirt and started unzipping my pants.

"Wait a minute!" He finally realized I wasn't just kidding. "I don't wanna see your schlong!"

But I was unstoppable. The pants followed the shirt, and my brother relented. No, he didn't join me. But he agreed to read a book in a nearby forest and guard my clothes.

In less than a minute, I was completely nude. Along with my clothes, I have shed my inhibitions. I have finally abandoned a mental barrier that states "thou shalt not be nude in front of anyone but thy lover and maybe a doctor".  I felt extremely liberated and relaxed. And I also realized one more thing.

"Holy shit!" I said to myself. "All that stuff in those magazines, all that crap about nudity per se not being sexual... that's all true! They didn't lie!"

Indeed, nothing sexual was going on. For the next several hours, I was swimming in the sea and walking on the beach, casually looking at other naked people with no shame or awkwardness. The initial animosity of other nudists disappeared very quickly. Some of them mumbled something like: "thought he was just another gawker, but apparently he is a nudist". A couple of times, I did encounter some women in bikini, who were simply passing through the nude section. Again, I would look at them with no shame. "If anything," I thought, "it's you who should be ashamed, since this is our turf, nude turf. Yeah, look at my cock all you want."

I still remember that wonderful day, as if it was yesterday. August 31, 2010 -- the day of my liberation.

*  *  *

I did visit that beach a couple more times, but the weather was quickly getting worse and worse, so that the nude beach was almost deserted. Needless to say, when I got back home, I quickly found a nudist resort right here in Missouri. I visited it right away, enjoyed the visit very much... but the resort got closed very soon for financial reasons. No problem -- I found another resort relatively close to St. Louis, which I've been going to ever since.

Also, I joined some nudist websites, where members post their nude pictures in profiles and occasionally participate in nudist webcam chats. One of these sites (a closed one, where you need to be invited in order to join) organized a get-together in a resort in Virginia in the summer of 2011, and I thoroughly enjoyed my trip.

Plus, I flew to Miami in November 2010 for one day -- just to visit Haulover Beach (considered by many to be the best nude beach in the country). Another enjoyable outing.

And I did go back to Latvia in July 2011 -- to the very same Vecaki beach. This time, I met some of the local nudists in advance online, which enabled me to spend a couple of weeks in their company. Turned out they also go to a sauna every Thursday, which I liked very much as well.

So I can definitely say that even though I have only been a nudist for two and a half years, it has clearly become one of my favorite hobbies. I would even call it a lifestyle.

Oh, and one more thing. A very important thing, that is. On that fateful day, August 31, my liberation only began. Gradually, I was able to change other things in my life as well. I finally realized my ill-fated marriage wasn't worth preserving at all. After leaving my ex and enjoying single life for a while, I met a wonderful woman. We got married in August 2012.  

And yes, she knows about my peculiar lifestyle. In fact, "nudist" was the very word in my social network profile that attracted her attention. Actually, I have already taken her to my nudist resort, and she absolutely loved it. Very soon, we became club members there. In addition, on our honeymoon we visited Cappacotta nude beach in Italy. And several months later, famous (or infamous, depending on the point of view) Hedonism resort in Jamaica.

But I digress. Since I am such an accomplished nudist, maybe I should finally try answering my own question, which was asked in the beginning of this article.

Is nudism a sexual thing or not?

*  *  *

Even though I think nudism is one of those things you can't really understand unless you try it yourself, let me paint you a mental picture.

Imagine a resort far away from city life and traffic noise. A clubhouse, a pool, a tennis court. Some walking trails. Possibly a small pond with a couple of paddleboats. Rather average everyday people walking around, swimming in the pool, playing tennis, reading magazines, watching TV, talking, laughing. Just your regular vanilla Americana.

Now, add one thing. Or, rather subtract it.

No clothes. All these average everyday people are nude.

Oh, yeah. There are some outdoor showers with no walls or changing rooms.

That's it. That's all the difference. Average people doing average resort things.

The fact that they are nude doesn't really make a difference. No one is doing anything sexual, no one is touching other people (or one’s own private parts), no sexual harassment is going on.

In fact, any sexual behavior is specifically prohibited by the rules. Which is clearly stated on the resort website, too (and unless you've been to the website, chances are you won't even know this resort exists). No lewd behavior, no pointed staring (after all, it isn't polite to stare even in a clothed environment, is it?), no genital jewelry. Even an erection is a no-no. If a guy can't help it, he should cover up with a towel. Or jump into a pool. Or lay poolside on his stomach.

By the way, I have never had that problem myself. A couple of times, my penis did move just a little bit, but it never achieved an erect (or even a semi-erect) state. It has been surprisingly easy to handle all the nudity. Of course, I'm 41, not 15, but still... The "when in Rome" factor works quite well. On a clothed beach, it's OK to wear a bathing suit, but not OK to be naked. Likewise, in a nudist environment, it's OK to be naked, but not OK to get a hard-on. So I simply follow the rules and customs.

Plus, as one nudist lady said to me in Virginia:

"Everyone knows what a boob looks like. Or a penis".

"Indeed," I replied. "The most unique and interesting part of a human body is the face."

Not to mention it's a matter of common courtesy -- in both clothed and nude environments. When you are talking to another person, you are supposed to look at his or her face, right?

Also, ironically, a body in a bikini might actually look more sexual than a nude one. After all, a bikini draws attention to the private parts, making male onlookers mentally undress the woman. The birthday suit, however, does not draw attention to any particular body part at all.

And, finally, everyone else's nudity makes your own nakedness a complete non-factor. After all, when everyone is naked, no one is.

*  *  *

When I finally "came out" to my ex (we were still together at the time) about my new lifestyle, she wasn't happy about it at all. In order to calm her down, I brought up all the arguments about total asexuality of nudism. She did calm down a bit, but each time I went to the resort, she would always say the same thing:

"And don't have sex with any of the women here!"

"Oh, c'mon," I would reply. "The nudist resort is the last place I'd be having sex at".

When I "came out" to my father, he didn't like the news, either. Again, I told him that there was nothing sexual about it.

"Really?" He didn't believe me. "But when you see all these nude women, wouldn't you..."

"No, I wouldn't automatically have an erection." I laughed.

However, my Dad didn't laugh back.

"So a nudist man doesn't get an erection when he sees a naked woman?" he exclaimed. "That's horrible!"

And he wasn't the only one who found nudist asexuality somewhat unsettling. When I met my current wife and told her how wonderful, pure and relaxing nudism is, she did like my story – but immediately started having doubts about our future sex life. What if nudism had made me so desensitized to nudity that my sex drive became too low?

Fortunately, these doubts were dispelled very soon. My sexuality wasn't damaged by nudism in the least.

Because nudism is not completely asexual.

Let's face it, I was not raised as a nudist from childhood. Before I became a nudist, I had been a textile (that's what we call non-nudists, just like witches and wizards call ordinary humans "muggles") for 39 years. In my subconsciousness, female breasts and genitals will always be associated with sex, and I will always strive to see them uncovered.

No, I do not stare at boobs or pussies in a nudist environment. But I do look. I do admire the breasts, the nipples, the pubic area -- and not just as work of art. Since I don't touch myself or others, nudity alone doesn't cause an erection, but I still enjoy the view. And there is indeed no need to stare. A quick look, a momentous glance, a seemingly absent-minded gaze -- and that's enough. Move to the next one. Or look at someone's face. And just talk to her. Or him. No need to look at boobs and pussies all the time. Or even most of the time. Just enjoy nude relaxation and liberation. And the naked chicks. (No, they are not the only reason I go there (had it been so, I would have just gone to a strip joint instead). Not even a No. 1 reason. Just a nice side benefit).

Yes, it does give me pleasure. Not only sexual. The whole sensation. Like, other men can't look at naked women, unless they're having sex. But I can. Other men can't be naked in the presence of strange women. But I can.

Of course, I still can't masturbate while looking -- for now. Who can stop me from remembering all these naked women later, when I am back in the privacy of my own home?

And, naturally, I still use nudist magazines and online photos as visual masturbatory aids. No, becoming a nudist myself did not change that in the least.

And if I go to an online nudist video chat room, I always make sure there is at least one woman present. If it's a "sausagefest", I will quickly think of some excuse to leave. And if there is a woman, I do look at her boobs (provided they are on cam). And I might discreetly touch myself (first making sure my own cam doesn't reflect it).

Oh, and I was complimented quite a few times on those sites as well. No, not on my face or my personality. On my genitals. By both women and men.

So much for asexuality!

*  *  *

Now, back to that “coming out” conversation with my father. When I proudly told him about my liberation from unnecessary and artificial barriers, his reaction was simply priceless:

“So, what’s next? Homosexuality?”

I was simply stunned. WTF-stunned. Indeed, how can one possibly form a connection between nudism and sexual orientation?

“Well,” he elaborated, “if one barrier goes, why not another?”

Of course, I patiently explained to Dad that no, I was not going to become gay. Not because of some barriers, but simply because I like pussy, not cock. And, by the way, he eventually relented and stopped being upset. In the end of that day, he even asked: “so how do I join?”, albeit jokingly. But I digress.

The point, I think, is that my father saw nudism as a sort of gateway. As something that is relatively harmless by itself, but can lead to bigger and better… or worse things.

Yes, just like marijuana. The legalization opponents also claim it’s a “gateway drug”.

Actually, my brother also thought my nudism would become a gateway. Not to homosexuality, of course. But to something more sexual than nudism itself.

And you know what? He was right.

On one of the nudist sites, I met a nice English nudist lady in a video chat room. We became good friends, we talked, we watched YouTube clips online together… and once she asked me to masturbate on cam for her.

I was relatively shocked, but also flattered. Just several months ago, that request would have sounded impossible and even unthinkable. But now, when nudity itself was not an issue…

“And it’s not like sex or anything,” she pleaded. “There is no touching; we are just going to look at one another”.

How could I resist? We established a private c2c (cam-to-cam) connection, I directed the cam at my penis and started jacking off. She smiled and started playing with her boobs, which greatly enhanced my masturbatory pleasure. After a while, I did cum, and, incredibly enough, she thanked me for the performance.

In the next couple of weeks, we repeated it several times, much to our mutual enjoyment. Unfortunately, she left that site for some reason, and we stopped cyberseeing each other. But I was already hooked on “cybering”.

Well, when one door closes, another one might open. Which is exactly what happened.

A couple of days later, I had a video conversation with some of my friends at the private nudist site (the one you can only join by invitation). And one of my fellow nudists was talking about another site he used to go to.

“It used to be a nudist-friendly site, but not anymore!” he complained. “Now, it’s all become sexual. You won’t believe some of the things people do on cam there.”

“Oh, really?” I tried to sound nonchalantly. “What’s the name again? The name of that site I should avoid?”

The name was Paltalk. Needless to say, I googled it right after saying goodbye to my vanilla nudist friends. And, indeed, Paltalk turned out to be quite a site. There were hundreds of video chat rooms, and a lot of them were adult ones. Although, it took me a while to figure out that the degree of adultness, so to speak, varied from room to room. Some rooms allowed cursing but no nudity. Others allowed nudity but no “wanking” (that’s what they called masturbating on cam). And the best rooms not only allowed wanking, but even encouraged it.

Of course, I started frequenting those wanking-friendly rooms. The ratio of men to women was about 9-to-1, most men (including me) would normally wank, while some women would show boobs and sometimes pussy. Again, I got complimented a lot. Oftentimes, for size (actually, I think a camera adds a couple of inches, but still…). Most times, by other men (a typical message exchange would be something like “hey man, nice cock! how r u?”  -- “straight” – “oh yeah, me too”). But sometimes, by women. Which could lead to a private cam-to-cam session. With me jerking off and cumming on a tissue – and her playing with her pussy and/or boobs. Good times!

Actually, some of these cyberrelationships could turn into real ones – at least two of my cyberpartners actually wanted me to fly to their cities and fuck them for real. Which I didn’t do. Before I broke up with my ex, it didn’t sound right. When I was single, I was too busy having real sex with local FWB’s. And when I met my current wife, I stopped going to Paltalk altogether.

So, yeah, nudism can definitely be a gateway to sex. At least to cybersex.

*  *  *

On the other hand, nudism can be an impediment to sex as well.

When a man and a woman are in love, they normally display their affection in public. They hold hands, they hug and kiss, and they touch each other’s faces, shoulders and backs. They slow-dance and hold one another tight. One might say it’s romantic, not sexual – but in fact it’s both romantic and sexual. After all, romance is a great turn-on. And it’s not uncommon for a guy in love to develop an erection while hugging, kissing or dancing with his lady. Which isn’t a problem, because no one will notice… and why not?

Because he is wearing pants.

And now, imagine this couple in a nudist environment. When my wife and I went to my favorite resort, we quickly discovered that we had to be careful. Even intense kissing could be perceived by others as “sexual”. And any physical contact could potentially lead to an erection, which would be noticed by everyone – due to my lack of pants or even underpants.

And dancing? Imagine holding a woman – no, not just a woman, your woman! – tightly. Oh yeah, and both of you are naked.

Plus, even looking at my nude wife is more erotic than looking at other women. It’s hard to believe, since, after all, I have already seen her naked many times. However, unlike all other nudist women, she is not just an acquaintance or a friend. She is the love of my life, my one and only sexual partner, the Yin to my Yang. Of course, I am more likely to get hard while looking at her!

Well, we held hands, we sat together on a couch, we even danced… and I still managed to avoid an erection. And overall, going to the resort with my beloved wife was still the best nudist experience ever. Despite all our efforts to keep it non-sexual. And me not looking that often at other naked boobs and pussies.

After a while, though, we started renting a cabin in order to stay there overnight… and to take “cabin breaks” during the day. Needless to say, such breaks do help to stop my cock from breaking the nudist code. At least for a little while.

*  *  *

Well, as we can see, nudism can have both sexual and non-sexual aspects. Yes, it can lead a nudist to more sexual behavior – but it can also force one to keep metaphorical pants on (lack of actual pants notwithstanding).

So, is nudism sexual?

Yes and no.

Just like the real world. The textile world, to be more precise.

In real life, there are two sides. Public and private. In public, there is no sex. No one in his or her right mind is going to have sex with others (or even with oneself) on a city street or in a public park. After all, offending other people might not be a very good idea. When you’re in a public place, you obey public rules. Pure and simple.

In private, however, you do as you wish – provided your partners are consenting adults as well. You can watch porn, you can masturbate, you can fuck, and you can even have an orgy (provided you find playmates, of course). Or you can lead a sexless, pornless, non-orgasmic life – and be happy leading it. It’s none of anyone else’s business.

So, your real life might be either sexual or asexual – whatever you make it. If you’re a sexual being, you get your sexual pleasure in private, while not offending asexual people in public. If you’re an asexual person, then you stay away from sex – both in public and in private. Everyone’s happy.

And nudism is no different. In public nudist places, be it a nude beach or a nudist resort, everyone is following the no-sex rules. If you are a sexual nudist, you can have your sexual fun in private. If you are an asexual one, no one will bother you and make you uncomfortable. Again, everybody’s happy.

Of course, the ubiquitous nudity might enhance sexual pleasure – but so what? Yes, a nudist man might admire a nudist woman’s body in a sexual way – and then later even use that memory while jerking off. But what harm would it do to the woman? After all, she won’t even know about it.

Plus, in the textile world, men will always look at women in a sexual way, too. What will stop a textile man from admiring a female body in a bikini? Or a nude Greek statue? Or a nude painting in an art museum? All these images can also serve as masturbation enhancers. (And the only way to fight this would be to ban art and force women to cover up from head to toe. Yes, like in Iran and Saudi Arabia).

Thus, I don’t think there is a definite, set-in-stone relationship between nudism and sexuality at all. By itself, nudism is neither a sexual lifestyle nor an asexual one. Just like a textile, a nudist can be a sexual dynamo or a sexless bore. Whether nudism enhances one’s sex life, impedes it, or has no bearing on it, really depends on the specific individual.

Which is why I can only speak for myself.

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